Great news, pervs, you may soon watch Caligula with a boozy milkshake

How long have we been deprived of true debauchery? Why, it’s been ages since a bacchanal of pleasure was available to the depraved freaks of North America. The Drafthouse Films is making it possible for the sweaty, horny masses to chug a whiskey banana split shake and scarf a Big Kahuna Burger while drooling to the sultry, orgy classic Caligula: The Ultimate Cut.

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No rumor can match the reality of Caligula, but The Ultimate Cut is the long-rumored, more respectable version than the “Rated M for Mature” cut released by Penthouse in the late ‘70s. After production wrapped in 1976, Penthouse founder and Caligula producer Bob Guccione snagged control of the film and set about the three-year process of shoehorning more hardcore sex into the cut. Guccione had wanted a big-budget nudie with high production values, but screenwriter Gore Vidal was far more interested in the homosexuality of ancient Rome than Guccione. The film was rewritten to feature more of the softcore heterosexual intercourse Penthouse readers crave. Still, during post-production, Guccione set about reshooting some unsimulated sex between man and woman, thank you very much. Vidal and director Tinto Brass disowned the film.

The new cut, which premiered at Cannes last year, is said to be more in line with Brass and Vidal’s original. Deadline reports that the new cut includes a prologue featuring illustrations by comics great Dave McKean that recreates some of Vidal’s missing scenes. There’s also a new score and a longer runtime for everyone hoping to order a second shake for Caligula’s third act.

Drafthouse is releasing the unrated cut in theaters nationwide this August, with a 4K UHD release to follow. Though the new cut uses more of the 96 hours of footage the director shot for Caligula, that hasn’t changed Tinto Brass’ opinion of the film. He still thinks it sucks. In a statement last year, the 90-year-old director said:

After numerous and fruitless negotiations that have followed over the years, first with the Penthouse and then with other unclear individuals, to edit the material that I shot and which had been found in the Penthouse archives, a version has been created on which I did not take part and which I am convinced will not reflect my artistic vision. As is well known, the editing process is what shapes my very personal directorial style. If I can’t edit a film, I don’t recognize it, and I have not acknowledged authorship. There are numerous versions of Caligula edited by others, including Bob Guccione. But none of them correspond to my original project. The Cannes audience will, therefore, be misled by the arbitrary use of my name.

Malcolm McDowell disagrees, describing it as a reclamation project of one of his “best performances.” In an Instagram post last year, he said the original “made no sense” and that all his “best scenes” were dropped from the original “because of all the added pornography.”

“It’s been a hidden performance since 1976!!!!” he continued. “It was so devastating to me at the time — I never got over it. It traumatized me so much that I completely shut it out of my life emotionally. One of the most critically mocked films of all time because of the hideous editing of Bob Guccione. #caligula.”

Now, McDowell gets a second chance at greatness—this time, with Meat & Meatier meat-lovers pizza.

Caligula (1979) ULTIMATE CUT TRAILER [HD 1080p]


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